WARNING: It's dire out there.

There have been some big headlines recently. Let's take a spin around the cyber dial:

Supreme Court decisions (United States v. Windsor): In light of my recent post about Loving Day, it is preposterous that we are still debating the right of two consenting, non-blood related, adults to marry. This decision, allowing same sex couples who are legally married access to federal benefits, is a giant step forward. But the Court declined deciding the constitutionality of those unions. So for those couples who live in states where same sex marriage is illegal, I guess you're shit out of luck.

Texas House decision: The same men who scream, stomp their feet and proclaim the government must get involved in women's reproductive health issues and make abortions "a thing of the past," are the same men who carry laminated, pocket-sized copies of the Second Amendment.

Trayvon Martin decision (Florida v. George Zimmerman): And we're three for three... I have no words for this verdict. I'm a former criminal defense attorney, so I have strong, not positive, feelings about prosecutors. And those views did not change as I watched the prosecutor deliver an underwhelming closing argument to cap off a weak case. An underlying chant of "reasonable doubt" was the backdrop of most of their theories. Still, a battle raged inside of me.

A young black man was dead. And then his killer was acquitted.

While my heart was heavy and full of anger at the decision, I was not surprised. I believe Trayvon was racially profiled; that Zimmerman saw him, didn't recognize him and thought he was a delinquent. It was inconceivable to Zimmerman that Trayvon could be a resident, or guest, in the gated community. A split second assumption he wouldn't have made if Trayvon was white. But I also believe once he confronted Trayvon and the situation exploded (after all, a young man, who was doing no wrong, was suddenly accosted and questioned by a stranger who wasn't a police officer) Zimmerman feared for his life. And THAT split second decision, not the one before it, is the one that legally matters.

Blame the blanket simplification of the Castle doctrine, the law that told Zimmerman, in his capacity as a resident and neighborhood watch officer, if he believed his life was in danger, he had the right to use deadly force in defense, even if he could have retreated. It's the same law many site if they shoot someone who breaks into their home. Blame the lingering stench of our nation's history, still afraid to have a meaningful dialogue about race and politics. But don't blame the jury. The verdict, itself, is not an indictment of the jury system. I think the women on that jury followed the law, as it was given to them. Requiring them to render a verdict based on what they believe versus what was proven, would make them no better than the Emmett Till or Rodney King juries.

Cory Monteith: Young star of Glee, dead at 31. Like texting/drinking and driving and senseless violence, the celebrity lifestyle is a killer of our young. Seriously, this is a problem.

Tracey Livesay's debut novel, The Billionaire's Socialite Bride, will be published by Entangled Publishing in January 2014.  She blogs here on the third Monday of every month. If you like the flavor she's bringing, you can check out her blog, Mimosas at Midnight or Like her Facebook page.

True Love... in black & white.

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Where's the sisterhood?

At our blog, we pride ourselves on being authors who write intelligent, strong, positive heroines. As a group of bloggers, we work to support each other in our publishing careers. When you are around these types of women, you forget that not all women are treated in the same manner. Three stories this week make that issue abundantly clear.

First, Disney faced a maelstrom of criticism with their choice to give Merida, from the movie Brave, a makeover. 

Original Merida

"Makeover" Merida

Second, H&M rolled out their summer campaign featuring a model more in line with the average American woman, only to face comments that she’s too fat and she needs to lose weight.

Finally, an Oklahoma City Thunder NBA cheerleader, was called out on a blog post, written by a woman, for being “too chunky.” The passive aggressive nature of the post is a thin veil for its meanness. The blogger thinks the cheerleader is beautiful, but she's just "discussing what men like." Did this post even need to be written?

The lack of sisterhood is disturbing and it’s very pervasive. Even on something like reality competitions where the American public votes, most of the winners turn out to be “attractive” boys, the magnet for the tween/teen girls who tend to vote. While watching Good Morning America on Friday, where they were discussing this week’s Dancing with the Stars finale, an anchor mentioned she thought the lone male left standing would win because young girls are the ones “who vote.” On shows like Survivor, where alliances are important, you rarely see women align together, even when they have the numbers on their side.

Am I the lone “conspiracist,” foil hat and all, for seeing a link between these stories? Or am I a seeing a problem where none exists? 

January & the Globes

January.

The first month of the year. 

A time of resolution. A time of revelations.

But not for me. I'm not promising myself I'll get to the gym more often or making a list of all the tasks I'll finally get to, like cleaning the closets or organizing my photos.

Oh no. January, for me, is all about the Golden Globes and fashion.

This was one of the best ceremonies in a long time, thanks to Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. The ladies were funny and classy and they kept things moving. In fact, the only thing I didn't like about them was that I didn't see them enough! I hope they're back next year, but I wonder if repeat performances will ruin the perfection of this one.

That said, here's my breakdown of the ceremony:

The Hollywood Foreign Press (HFP) got it right: Ben Affleck and ARGO, if only to show the Academy is a bunch of dicks!

The HFP got it wrong: Hugh Jackman. I love Hugh, although not as much as most people. Still, that award belonged to Bradley Cooper. I understand my fellow WiseWench, Sofie Couch, may disagree with me, but Bradley was awesome in Silver Linings Playbook and I'll take his baby blues any day of the week! Come on, Sofie. Bring it!! ;-)

Best Monologue Joke:  "I haven't paid attention to the controversy surrounding Zero Dark Thirty but when it comes to torture, I trust the lady who spent three years married to James Cameron." 

Worst Sense of Humor: Tommy Lee Jones. Maybe the cameras got him at a bad moment. But Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig were funny. Come on, Tommy Lee, smile for the camera.

Off-camera moment I'd love to see: I love Ben Affleck. I've always been fan, even when it was hard to say so. But I would have loved to be in the seat beside Ben and Jen's table when the other Jen stopped by to chat. Runner-up moment: Jen Garner hanging out with Bradley Cooper and Victor Garber. Alias reunion!

Now, the fashions...

Best dressed

Anne Hathaway in Chanel. Simple and stunning. Beautiful.


Worst dressed

Rachel Weisz in Louis Vuitton. Daniel Craig was the only beautiful thing she was wearing and even he wasn't looking his best.


Overrated

Kate Hudson in  Alexander McQueen. Her body was banging, and she looked good. But that's it. JMO


Did you watch the Globes? What did you think? Who would you pick Hugh or Bradley?

Make sure you join me next month for my Oscar recap!


Tracey Livesay just signed a contract with Entangled Publishing for her interracial, contemporary romance, The Billionaire's Socialite Bride and the other two in the series. She blogs here on the third Monday of every month. If you like the flavor she's bringing, you can check out her blog, Mimosas at Midnight or Like her Facebook page.

You, Too, Could Live Like an Erotica Writer

Just recently, I sold my first book, ILLICIT IMPULSE, to Ellora's Cave. My friends took me out to celebrate last weekend, and over drinks and dinner (in that order), I came to realize that they apparently think I lead some sort of glamorous life. Not like a celebrity – my friends have all seen what I drive – but I see the way their eyes light up when I mention research, and I hate to disappoint them by saying that I was reading about neurochemistry. There's no little gaggle of men following me around. I keep a hangover remedy in my refrigerator. I clean the litterboxes every morning. My life's pretty average, I thought.

Having said that, though, I did have this argument with myself between sips of champagne. That actually is kind of glamorous.

But we can all be glamorous like that. We just have to ask ourselves one question. We have to start doing it right now, while we are surrounded by people who are dedicating themselves to living more monastic lives this year.

We have to ask ourselves, "Why not?"

Let's take the champagne, for instance. I'm lucky to have such awesome friends to take me places where the champagne flows freely. Champagne is out there every day, though. It's not just for New Year's Eve or Sunday morning mimosas. Couldn't we be exchanging toasts on Thursday night?

Why not?

And what about dessert? I savor every bite of every dessert as if it's the last thing I'm ever going to taste. I've also been known to take myself out to restaurants just for dessert. That's not an everyday thing, but I do love taking up position at the bar for a cup of coffee and a warm slice of apple pie. It keeps my senses sharp, which is important for an erotica writer, but for the most part, it's just an indulgence.

Why not?

I should mention the research.

I almost hate to demystify what erotica research is for me, especially so soon after Santa Claus. But the ugly truth is that my research almost never requires physical contact with another human being. I mentioned the neuroscience earlier; I had to learn about oxytocin and pharmaceutical development to write ILLICIT IMPULSE. I thought it was fascinating, but it's not terribly glamorous. For the next book, research was reading the Safety Rules and Regulations sign at the batting cage to see whether it specifically prohibits having two people in there at once. Not fancy stuff.

Then there was the Discovery Flight.

I'm planning another story in which the hero and heroine were on a single-engine plane. At the time, I had never been on a single-engine plane, and it was important enough to the story that I needed to know what the experience was like. So I reached out to a flight school and explained my situation, hoping to see how big the plane was, how close my hero and heroine would be to each other, what they would be able to take with them. The flight instructor offered me a Discovery Flight. For a very reasonable fee, he said, I could go up in the plane with him. Then I'd really know what it was like.

Why not?

(I could write for hours about what the Discovery Flight is like, but you don't have that sort of time, so I'll leave you with a quote from the flight instructor. "Go ahead and take off. Try to keep it in the middle of the runway.")

Maybe this is glamorous. Champagne toasts, indulgent desserts, exciting research – it is a good life. But it's not reserved for erotica writers. Celebrate something (like a Wednesday) with champagne. Take yourself out for a luxuriant restaurant dessert because you like the way it tastes. Learn something outside your comfort zone. Now's the time – most people are going to be waiting in line for the machines at the gym.

Go for it. Why not?

**Alexa Day is hard at work on her second book, the follow-up to ILLICIT IMPULSE, but she's got space in her schedule for the occasional random dessert. You can catch her right here on the first Wednesday of the month (or the year!) for ways to make every day a little sexier. She also blogs every Thursday on her website, www.alexaday.net.

Merging Holiday Traditions

I loved Christmas when I was a kid. I wish I could say it had something to do with the religious aspects, but it was the presents, the toys. It was the best time of the year because I got more toys than I could conceivably play with... although I did give it my best effort.

In our family, we opened gifts on Christmas morning. During the night, while we slept, Santa brought our gifts and left them out for us. There were four of us kids, and we all had our special spot. Mine was the single chair in the living room. When I came down Christmas morning, my chair would be covered with toys and clothes. Not wrapped, just neatly laid out.  The year I got a new bike it was parked next to my chair. The same with the chalkboard I received the following year. It was like a party. And later, after my parents woke and got their coffee, we attacked the wrapped gifts under the tree; the ones we'd gotten each other. It was a wonderful experience and although I couldn't put it in words then, when I got older I knew I wanted that same experience for my children.

My first week of law school I met the man who would become my husband. Now, this blog post is not the place for THAT story, but we were inseparable from that moment on. Christmases during the years we dated and the ones after we married, before children, we spent rotating between our two families. He was surprised the first holiday he spent with my family to learn we opened gifts on Christmas morning.

His family opened gifts on Christmas Eve!

As I expressed my incredulity, he went on to share his childhood experience of opening gifts at night on Christmas Eve. And all of his gifts from Santa were wrapped and nestled under the tree. I smiled indulgently, but I knew in my heart that if he was lucky enough to spend his life with me, our children would follow my family's traditions, not his weird ones.

Ten years later, we had a choice to make. We had three children and one was old enough to understand Christmas and look forward to it. We'd continued visiting our families during the holidays, but we both knew it was time to start our own family tradition, and that meant staying at home.

And settling the long debate of Christmas Eve versus Christmas.

We both had valid reasons for our preference and they were backed by years of emotions and memories. It wasn't easy, but we had to do what was best for the family we created, not the ones we grew up with. And in the end, we came up with a compromise that has since become our family tradition. We open gifts on Christmas morning, but they are all wrapped and nestled under the tree, even the ones from Santa.

From the W3 family to yours... Happy Holidays!!

What are some of your favorite Holiday traditions?

Tracey Livesay
True Love in black & white
www.traceylivesay.com
Mimosas at Midnight
Twitter: @tlivesay
Facebook: TraceyLivesayAuthor