Showing posts with label Fourth of July. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fourth of July. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Beam me up, Scottie! Please!


I’ve always been intrigued by the moon. Maybe my fascination comes from one too many viewings (at too young an age) of reruns of Lon Cheney’s The Wolfman. I remember being petrified that I’d stumble across a wolfman in my own neighborhood, some poor, tormented soul who’d lost his mind and was bent on taking my life! (Okay, so even then my imagination got the better of me.)

Like most people, I’d heard the stories about strange behavior taking place around the full moon, and like most people, I never believed them. Then I started a job in a local media outlet that puts me in direct and daily contact with the public. I quickly realized that there would be days that would stretch the limits of my patience, days where people would exhibit strange behavior (stranger than usual) – cranky, mean, downright miserable complaints about things completely out of anyone's control.  Or sometimes just behavior that makes me shake my head and wonder why people think the way they do.

At first I attributed these odd periodic incidents to simple chance, until one day, in the midst of one such episode, I threw up my hands and said, “What is going on today?! This is crazy!” The response to me from a veteran? “It’s a full moon,” as if that explained it all.

I laughed to myself and quietly pitied the poor sucker who actually bought that theory. Still, never one to discount the voice of experience, I began to pay attention. Now, when people’s behavior is more bizarre than usual, I look at the lunar calendar, and nod in understanding.

This month, we celebrating all things summer vacation-y, so I’ll share a goofy little thing that happened to me last week.

The full moon appeared on July 3rd, just as we were preparing coverage of our nation’s birthday, fielding lots of questions about fireworks and holiday closings. All routine, all to be expected.

Until I picked up the phone around 10 that morning. I answered with my usual: “Good morning, this is Leah. How can I  help you?”

The caller responded with a tone that put me on alert, her voice crisp and full of an authority that she at least believed she had. “I need the number to CNN,” she said, as if it were a perfectly reasonable request. (I don’t work for CNN. And I’m not in Atlanta. Or Georgia.) Seemed she wanted to check on what fireworks the network would be broadcasting.

Normally I try to help people, figuring it takes longer to turn requests away than it does to just handle them, when I can.  So I said, “We’re not affiliated with CNN, but I’ll be happy to look them up for you.”

When I relayed the phone number to her, she said, “What’s the 4-0-4 number you said?”

I looked at the screen where I’d Googled CNN’s contact page. “That’s their area code. They’re in Atlanta. Georgia.”

“Oh.”  She paused, apparently thinking for a moment, then said, “ Patch me through.”

That stopped me, and I actually shook my head, wondering if I’d heard her correctly. “Patch you through?” I said. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

“You know, transfer me. To CNN.”

Now I was trying not to laugh, because she was so obviously serious. “I’m sorry, ma’am. This isn’t the phone company. I can’t transfer you.” (Actually, I’m not even sure they can these days!)

I could tell from the loud sigh that huffed across the transmission that I’d annoyed her, but she thanked me.  As I started to replace the receiver, presuming she would be well on her way to finding her answers within seconds, I heard her ask, “Do I have to dial a ‘1’ first?”

Somewhere in the back of my mind, all I could hear was the howl of that poor tormented werewolf, searching for his sanity.

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Leah writes stories of romance and suspense, and the enduring power of love. Please visit Leah at www.leahstjames.com.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Manly Firmness

My country and my column are going to share a birthday! And what better time to start dipping Below the Fold than the Fourth of July? My happy mission: to provide you with some ways to make this hot holiday even hotter.
Let’s talk fireworks and get this celebration started with a bang! No matter how you spend the rest of the holiday, an evening fireworks show is a necessary ingredient for a hot and happy Fourth. The patriotic music always gets me a little stirred up, and I love checking out the firemen near the perimeter, the cops working crowd control, and our hot friends in the military. (Okay. I’m a badge bunny; I admit it.) Of course, if that’s not exciting enough for you, you could always daydream about all the things a person could do in the dark, surrounded by people who are all … looking … up.
Before the fireworks, though, why not spend part of the afternoon poolside? There’s no better place to celebrate the right to bare arms! If you can get to the pool early enough, you’re sure to see some fine-looking gentlemen working out, passing smoothly through the water on the way to a flip turn. Poetry in motion! And if you’re lucky enough to be at the beach, you can join a pick-up volleyball game and get even closer to the action. Now that’s my kind of gun show!
That brings us to my favorite part of the holiday: manly firmness.
Oh, get your mind out of there! Manly firmness is patriotic. It’s in the Declaration of Independence, in the fifth one of those bullet points. That’s right – it’s in the same document as the pursuit of happiness. Indeed, some of us (like me) would argue that one concept leads to the other and back again. Since manly firmness is one of the principles this nation’s based on, it is our patriotic duty to celebrate it, in its many wonderful forms. So while you’re heading from the beach to the pool, or wherever your holiday takes you, be sure to thank your hot male friends for being part of what makes our country great. Ask your favorites to take their shirts off. You know, for the country. Then get ready for those fireworks!
**Here’s a big, thank-you hug for all my hot military friends, male and female, from Below the Fold! Many thanks for doing what you do, so I can do what I do.

Alexa Day celebrates diversity -- another one of this nation's fine, fundamental principles -- with her special blend of interracial erotica and erotic romance. You can join her in the melting pot over on her blog at www.alexaday.net.