Merging Holiday Traditions

I loved Christmas when I was a kid. I wish I could say it had something to do with the religious aspects, but it was the presents, the toys. It was the best time of the year because I got more toys than I could conceivably play with... although I did give it my best effort.

In our family, we opened gifts on Christmas morning. During the night, while we slept, Santa brought our gifts and left them out for us. There were four of us kids, and we all had our special spot. Mine was the single chair in the living room. When I came down Christmas morning, my chair would be covered with toys and clothes. Not wrapped, just neatly laid out.  The year I got a new bike it was parked next to my chair. The same with the chalkboard I received the following year. It was like a party. And later, after my parents woke and got their coffee, we attacked the wrapped gifts under the tree; the ones we'd gotten each other. It was a wonderful experience and although I couldn't put it in words then, when I got older I knew I wanted that same experience for my children.

My first week of law school I met the man who would become my husband. Now, this blog post is not the place for THAT story, but we were inseparable from that moment on. Christmases during the years we dated and the ones after we married, before children, we spent rotating between our two families. He was surprised the first holiday he spent with my family to learn we opened gifts on Christmas morning.

His family opened gifts on Christmas Eve!

As I expressed my incredulity, he went on to share his childhood experience of opening gifts at night on Christmas Eve. And all of his gifts from Santa were wrapped and nestled under the tree. I smiled indulgently, but I knew in my heart that if he was lucky enough to spend his life with me, our children would follow my family's traditions, not his weird ones.

Ten years later, we had a choice to make. We had three children and one was old enough to understand Christmas and look forward to it. We'd continued visiting our families during the holidays, but we both knew it was time to start our own family tradition, and that meant staying at home.

And settling the long debate of Christmas Eve versus Christmas.

We both had valid reasons for our preference and they were backed by years of emotions and memories. It wasn't easy, but we had to do what was best for the family we created, not the ones we grew up with. And in the end, we came up with a compromise that has since become our family tradition. We open gifts on Christmas morning, but they are all wrapped and nestled under the tree, even the ones from Santa.

From the W3 family to yours... Happy Holidays!!

What are some of your favorite Holiday traditions?

Tracey Livesay
True Love in black & white
www.traceylivesay.com
Mimosas at Midnight
Twitter: @tlivesay
Facebook: TraceyLivesayAuthor

Single for the Holidays? Five Very Merry Advantages

Today I'm writing for my single friends. By single, I mean unattached. If you are in a relationship of any kind, including but not limited to marriage, you are not single for the purposes of this discussion.

I'm going to take the gloves off and tell you the hard truth.

This is not an easy time to be single. No one wants to hear this, and lots of well-meaning people want to shovel sunshine over it. I think you deserve the truth. The holidays basically force single people to spend long periods of time surrounded by family who wonder why they are still single (and have no problem asking over the dinner table), by couples at their coupled-up best, and by the newly engaged. The holidays force single people to confront both mistletoe and New Year's Eve.

It's not easy, and I think anyone who says otherwise probably has some other lovely platitudes to offer single people. Coupled people, take notice. Single folks do not want to hear that they deserve better, that it is that other person's loss, or that someday somewhere somehow, someone will come along.

(A good coupled friend once asked me what a single person in breakup distress did want to hear. The answer is nothing. Single people want you to listen.)

I'm digressing. This is not going to be a diatribe about what a bummer the holidays are. This is my world – Below the Fold! I'm going to tell you single folks how to make the holidays sexy.

Let us count the ways.

1.       You do not have to do anything. The vast majority of coupled people spend a significant part of the holiday season fulfilling the obligations created by their partners. Some of them don't mind doing that. Some of them are just saying they don't mind. You don't have to go to a partner's work party, family gathering or anything else that person is required to do for some reason or another. You also don't have to buy presents for those folks. The next time you feel holiday blues descending, just remember the things you don't have to do. Those people who just started going out a few weeks ago are in an awkward spot right now.

2.       You can choose to do anything. You could go to some holiday singles events, if that's your thing, but that's not really what I'm talking about. Seek out an artistic endeavor. Try a day seminar in digital photography. How about nude figure drawing? Oh, yes, it's real! My bartending school had a sample class in December – that entertaining lark turned into a job. Dance lessons abound – group lessons where you'll have lots of partners and a New Year's Eve party, and lessons that will help you find the single goddess inside you, like belly dancing, burlesque, and striptease. There's still time for a solo trip to the location of your choice, if you check into last-minute travel opportunities. Being single, at its best, is about being spontaneous, and spontaneity is sexy!

3.       Enjoy your solitude. Take yourself on a sensual tour. Wherever you are, you're surrounded by lights and decorations and scents and sounds that will all disappear in about a month. Get out into the cold air. Listen to the holiday noise – my favorite sound of the season is the Salvation Army bell, and I only get it for another few weeks. Look at the faces of people going by. The bell ringer's smile when I put change in his kettle. A shopper's delight when she's found exactly the right gift. Friends sharing a laugh over drinks. Check out the Santa at the center of the mall, and really consider – that's a real person there, listening to a child's guileless recitation of what he wants. The child takes this for granted – where else would Santa be? Isn't it more magical for you, knowing what you know? There's real purity and magic in this time of year. Slow down and enjoy it.

4.       Indulge yourself. Buy yourself something. Jewelry. A book. A flashy, sexy outfit. A massage. Coupled folks often have trouble finding the time or the resources to do something purely selfish, but I'll let you in on a secret. Most of them secretly long for the luxury of selfishness. Try not to rub their noses in it.

5.       If you're legal, have a drink. At a bar. Sit there with something nice and warm (I'll have some suggestions next week on my blog) and make nice with the bartender (that's on my blog right now). It's easy to make merry with a bartender as your ally!

The holidays are finite, and once they're over, I think you're going to miss them. In the meantime, remember your friends, even the coupled-up ones, and share some of that good fortune with them when you find a moment.

**Alexa Day loves this time of year but hopes one year to actually make some sort of a schedule/plan for it. When she's not enjoying the luxury of selfishness, she spends the holidays volunteering with homeless animals or reading a nice, hot interracial romance novel. Check her out at http://alexaday.net for more everyday sexy!

A Giving Season

It shouldn't be a seasonal thing, but it does seem that as we get to the end of November our thoughts turn to the holidays and with the holidays come memories. With memories our hearts open up just a little bit more and I think that's part of why the holidays seem to always foster a little more giving.

I'd like to challenge folks this year to add one extra thing to your list that is for absolutely no one you know. Just a small charitable donation to help others. If we all give a little - it really will add up to a lot.

~I hope you'll help me~

Now through December 1st you can donate as little as $10 and make a huge difference in support of the Life Rocks Foundation. They send type one diabetic kids to camp, support the Wounded Warrior Project, and so many other amazing charities, even pet adoption through a partnership with PetsMart. And this foundation is $1 in $1 out -- it all goes to help, no overhead.
Here's the link. https://www.crowdrise.com/bretmichaelsliferocks/

I've posted a donation, when you follow the link above to make your donation add an (N) after your name in the donation listing and send me an email at nancy@nancynaigle.com so I have your email address and we'll do this thing! I'll be drawing a copy of Sweet Tea and Secrets for every ten donations that get made by us. I even have some audio copies so if that's your preference include it in the email!  If you win I'll give you the option to have it autographed to whomever you'd like and I'll even wrap it up all pretty for you, too.

Oh! And for all you gals that have Virginia connections like me (I was born and raised here!) the guys in the Bret Michaels Band are all from Virginia. So, let's show our southern Virginia is for Lovers giving side and support them in their efforts.

I'll post the winners on my facebook page https://www.facebook.com/nancynaigleauthor by Monday December 3rd so I have plenty of time to get the winners their prize in time for holiday gift giving -- but every single one of us that donates will already be a winner by putting smiles on faces in the most special way.

My next post won't be until New Years Eve -- so let me say to all of you now - thanks for giving and...
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays however you spend them.
Nancy