Rites of Spring: It's the Time of the Season

Today’s post is just a little late in getting to you, but I promise I have a good reason. We’re in the best part of the spring right now (although I’m a little tired of having to wear a jacket in the morning), and I needed to recharge with a renewal ritual. People out there are putting up big money for fancy spa renewal rituals, but you don’t need any of that. You can indulge in your very own renewal ritual with very little preparation, just like I do every year.

The most important thing you need is solitude. I mention it first because for some of you, it will be hardest to come by. But the point of the ritual is to recharge your batteries and rebuild your stores of essential energy. You are not going to be able to do that if you’re dealing with other people.

Solitude doesn’t have to be difficult, though. You’ve really got two options. You can make sure no one bothers you by telling them not to bother you – and then backing it up by not rewarding them with your attention when they bother you. Or you can devise some way to remove others from the home by making some other location more attractive. Sending people to the movies is a good idea. Send them to a movie that starts roughly an hour after they leave the house. That should leave lots of time for what we’re doing here.

Once you’re alone, it’s time to run a bath. Even if your weather is actually appropriate for spring, I encourage warm water, since you’re going to be spending a good bit of time in there. While the water is running, hit it with your favorite bath additives. The Internet is rife – rife, I tell you! – with ideas for which fragrances will best suit your needs. I myself am hip deep in bath-related gifts. I will not need to purchase a bath additive for many years.

Make yourself a nice spa beverage. One of my favorites is from the Wynn in Las Vegas. Muddle a bit of cucumber with some lime juice in the bottom of your glass, add just a bit of simple syrup and then fill the glass with ginger ale. Depending on your ginger ale, you may not want the syrup. Alternately, a sliver of ginger muddled before the cucumber works if you substitute syrup and club soda for the ginger ale. The Wynn offers a cocktail version of this beverage, but I like the virgin edition. Brings back nice, hangover-free memories, and the cucumber makes it very refreshing.

Warm bath? Check. Solitude? Got it. Beverage? All ready. Now what?

Maybe nothing. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with just hanging out in your hard-won bath. Enjoy, my friend.

If you don’t get solitude often, though, I suggest putting it to work for you. Meditate. If your mind wanders terribly during traditional meditation, try a working meditation with a beauty treatment. I keep a salt scrub on the edge of the tub for this very purpose. Rubbing a salt scrub into your skin forces you to concentrate on yourself. Focus on how it feels as it scrapes away everything old, leaving behind something fresh and new. Enjoy the scent. My favorite part is watching the salt melt away in the water. Be careful, though. Salt scrubs with oil leave the tub very slick!

Now that all is said and done, slowly rejoin the so-called real world as you towel off. Cap everything off with a nice, soothing lotion and maybe a fresh coat of polish on the old toenails. The nail polish is a sneaky trick, really. While it’s drying, your mobility is limited, so everyone will have to get it themselves for a while. (You're welcome.)

What are you all doing to renew? Let me know in the comments.

**Alexa Day brings a touch of sexy to your everyday world on the first Wednesday of every month. When she's not researching her monthly column, she's working on the follow-up to her first novel, ILLICIT IMPULSE, which is now available wherever e-books are sold. In the meantime, you can catch up to her on Facebook, Twitter, or on her blog, although lately she only seems able to manage one of those three venues.

You, Too, Could Live Like an Erotica Writer

Just recently, I sold my first book, ILLICIT IMPULSE, to Ellora's Cave. My friends took me out to celebrate last weekend, and over drinks and dinner (in that order), I came to realize that they apparently think I lead some sort of glamorous life. Not like a celebrity – my friends have all seen what I drive – but I see the way their eyes light up when I mention research, and I hate to disappoint them by saying that I was reading about neurochemistry. There's no little gaggle of men following me around. I keep a hangover remedy in my refrigerator. I clean the litterboxes every morning. My life's pretty average, I thought.

Having said that, though, I did have this argument with myself between sips of champagne. That actually is kind of glamorous.

But we can all be glamorous like that. We just have to ask ourselves one question. We have to start doing it right now, while we are surrounded by people who are dedicating themselves to living more monastic lives this year.

We have to ask ourselves, "Why not?"

Let's take the champagne, for instance. I'm lucky to have such awesome friends to take me places where the champagne flows freely. Champagne is out there every day, though. It's not just for New Year's Eve or Sunday morning mimosas. Couldn't we be exchanging toasts on Thursday night?

Why not?

And what about dessert? I savor every bite of every dessert as if it's the last thing I'm ever going to taste. I've also been known to take myself out to restaurants just for dessert. That's not an everyday thing, but I do love taking up position at the bar for a cup of coffee and a warm slice of apple pie. It keeps my senses sharp, which is important for an erotica writer, but for the most part, it's just an indulgence.

Why not?

I should mention the research.

I almost hate to demystify what erotica research is for me, especially so soon after Santa Claus. But the ugly truth is that my research almost never requires physical contact with another human being. I mentioned the neuroscience earlier; I had to learn about oxytocin and pharmaceutical development to write ILLICIT IMPULSE. I thought it was fascinating, but it's not terribly glamorous. For the next book, research was reading the Safety Rules and Regulations sign at the batting cage to see whether it specifically prohibits having two people in there at once. Not fancy stuff.

Then there was the Discovery Flight.

I'm planning another story in which the hero and heroine were on a single-engine plane. At the time, I had never been on a single-engine plane, and it was important enough to the story that I needed to know what the experience was like. So I reached out to a flight school and explained my situation, hoping to see how big the plane was, how close my hero and heroine would be to each other, what they would be able to take with them. The flight instructor offered me a Discovery Flight. For a very reasonable fee, he said, I could go up in the plane with him. Then I'd really know what it was like.

Why not?

(I could write for hours about what the Discovery Flight is like, but you don't have that sort of time, so I'll leave you with a quote from the flight instructor. "Go ahead and take off. Try to keep it in the middle of the runway.")

Maybe this is glamorous. Champagne toasts, indulgent desserts, exciting research – it is a good life. But it's not reserved for erotica writers. Celebrate something (like a Wednesday) with champagne. Take yourself out for a luxuriant restaurant dessert because you like the way it tastes. Learn something outside your comfort zone. Now's the time – most people are going to be waiting in line for the machines at the gym.

Go for it. Why not?

**Alexa Day is hard at work on her second book, the follow-up to ILLICIT IMPULSE, but she's got space in her schedule for the occasional random dessert. You can catch her right here on the first Wednesday of the month (or the year!) for ways to make every day a little sexier. She also blogs every Thursday on her website, www.alexaday.net.

New year new me?

New Year, new me? Yeah, it sounds like a diet commercial,  but I'm the forever optimist. I believe in dreaming and hard work to accomplish the dream, but I am sane, and everyone has a different view of what those simple words could mean.

For me, part of my reality is striving me a better me - a better version of myself each year, professionally and personally. As we get older, we start to realize what is important - and let me just say, the things that I wanted in my twenties are not even on the list anymore. But, with a new year beginning, I have a real "chance" to start afresh.
If you never do more than think up an idea and do nothing to bring it to fruition then it remains just that - an idea.Maybe you just need a little push to reach deep down and trust yourself to create greatness. Confidence is the biggest tool needed for success. I think it is like a screwdriver. If you have a screwdriver you can repair almost anything.Here are my suggestions to push you forward to your destiny.

1. Surround yourself with positive people. The women here at W3 are an amazing bunch. They push me and encourage me to continue to try. There is beauty in trying. By having someone there, who can not only encourage, but listen and give timely advice, is precious. You too need to create a circle of like-minded people to surround yourself with (be it with one person, three or even twenty, having a confidant and someone who can continue to believe in you, when you doubt yourself, can make the difference between success and failure.)  

2. Write it down. To be a painter, you have to paint; to be a singer, you must sing; and to be a burlesque dancer, you have to know how to work with fans. Writing requires you to know craft but also just to put words down on the page. When you get words down you are closer to determining your writer's destiny.

3. The best tool to have though is a sense of humor - for you will need to have the ability to laugh at yourself (and the ability to connect with your readers). Life is too short not to appreciate the special moments, which will prove to be fodder for your creative pen.

So, on the first, after the clock strikes midnight, take your destiny by the hand and place your feet into those glass slippers. It is time for you to create your fairy tale. What are your plans to create a new you?

Here's to wishing you and yours a grand 2013 filled with joy, laughter and great writing!

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About Tina: I am the author of THOU SHALL NOT. I love creating three dimensional characters and am always looking for new people to kill…in my stories.

Check out my author's  blog at TinaGlasneck.com and my book is available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble. You can also connect with me on Facebook and on Twitter.