With Many Cheerful Thoughts About ... Jason Garrett

Fall is fully upon us here in the Old Dominion. The leaves are changing, the weather’s changing, and football season has set in with a vengeance. I've always enjoyed the savage ballet, but only at the college football level. Pro football left me cold, for the most part. I knew just enough to get by in the fantasy league, but no more.

And then, not long after last month’s post, I found myself watching the Cowboys play the Giants on TV from a barstool in Las Vegas. My buddy had stepped away from a lovely beverage to take a call from her family, and I glanced up just in time to catch Eli Manning throwing a pass directly to the Cowboys. I hate to call it an interception because I think of interceptions as being accidental. This one didn’t look like an accident to me.

After the Manning-fail, the cameras cut to the Giants sideline, where everyone looked disappointed but not that surprised, and to the Cowboys sideline, where everyone was delighted to start the game by taking the ball from the Giants. This is where I first encountered Jason Garrett.

Apparently, the NFL is trying to figure out how to get women interested in football. Well, here’s an idea. Let’s try a focused, female-friendly campaign, heavy on the Jason Garrett. Seriously, look.

No, I get it. Maybe the NFL thinks we will be offended if they suggest we are only into football because omigosh, they’re so cute! I understand. There was even a time I would have been offended. But what is the NFL doing now? They’re offering us form-fitting pink jerseys. I don’t think offering us cute guys is a huge jump.

Lest you think Jason Garrett is all hot alpha pro football coach and no substance, check this out.

Yeah. He just dropped geometry like it’s hawt. You know, because Pythagoras.

I also love that Coach Garrett presumes that someone who might not know who Pythagoras is, would be able to spell Pythagoras in order to look him up on the phone. Good coaches have high expectations.

I see lots of people – mostly male people – who are drinking deeply from the ol’ Haterade with regard to Coach Garrett. They all pretend to be crying about any number of things, but hey, he is hotter and smarter than the typical hater, plus he’s a pro football coach. I’m sure Coach Garrett isn’t letting it get to him.

But … you know, Jason, if the day gets too long, and the haters get too loud, there’s a spot for you right here at the bar, next to me. I’m not going to complain about all that because I’m not that into football. I just know what I like. And I'm down with Pythagoras.

**Alexa Day's Illicit Impulse is a Night Owl Reviews Top Pick. She's supposed to be working on the next book, but she's been distracted by preparations for Romanticon and her apparent inability to follow her new favorite team on television. Catch her right here on the first Wednesday of the month!

I Don't See Nothing Wrong with a Little PDA

Mark your calendar for June 20. It’s a Thursday. You’ll want to go out.

What’s the occasion? Well, it seems a whole holiday has been set aside for public displays of affection. June 20 is National PDA Day, and I know you’ll want to participate, even if you don’t really want to admit it.

No one wants to be the one to say that PDA is a good thing. That’s where I come in. I’m happy to step forward in favor of the PDA; it’s part of my bread and butter. Sure, keeping the private stuff super hot is important, but if I can’t make every touch count, even the public ones, I’ve got a problem.

The public display of affection is not only good, but it’s good for you. It’s necessary. Don’t worry. I’m not going to encourage you to get flagrant with a partner where all the world can see you. (I’m not going to stop you, either.) You don’t have to turn it all the way up to 11. If we call Level 1 a handshake and Level 2 is a nice hug, we’ll start at Level 3 by holding hands.

Hand holding. I think most of us stopped holding hands way too soon, for the same reason we stopped doing a lot of things: we were forced to endure the efforts of someone who wasn’t very good at it. Holding hands does not have to be a sweat-slick, hand-cramping marathon of awkwardness. With just a little effort, it can be wonderfully … effective. Start casually by bumping or brushing the back of your hand against your target’s hand. Follow up quickly, with intent, and twine your fingers together. And once you’re all set up, stroke your special friend’s thumb with yours. Keep things loose – that death grip is what makes the experience sweaty and gross. Ventilation matters!

Not-So-Casual Guidance. A good friend of mine, God love her, once had this complaint about dating. “What is this hand-on-the-back thing?” she asked. “I’m right behind the waitress! I know where we’re going!” I had to shake my head. The hand-on-the-back thing is like the hand-cupping-the-elbow thing and sort of like the hand-on-the-shoulder thing. It’s not about where you’re going. It’s about giving your date a reason to touch you. Personally, I prefer to wear something that leaves at least one of these target areas bare. Skin-to-skin contact builds oxytocin in both the toucher and the touchee (forgive my complex language there). Oxytocin’s the hormone that forms a nice emotional bond between the people touching each other. A little of that is a good thing, but for a deep bond, be prepared to get a little more touchy feely.

Getting to 11. I will never tell you that there is anything wrong with making out in public. My problem is with having to look at it. The public make-out session has much to recommend it – unusual setting, threat of discovery, pulse-pounding spontaneity – but public mores and, you know, the law are here to keep us from going all the way. Don’t fret. You can still manage a little workaround if you’re willing to try hard enough. Compromise a little by focusing more on those less obvious erogenous zones. Stroke that shadow zone beneath the shoulder blade. Trace that spinal column with your fingertips. Casually caress your sweetie’s knee – but only the knee. Keep up that repetitive, rhythmic motion, and you’ll be sure to start a fire! Better still, you can eliminate the public element by working with a backyard or a balcony or a parked car or maybe a fitting room. You’re still technically in public. The public just can’t see you as much. So far as I’m concerned, if I can’t see you, anything goes.

Can’t wait until the 20^th? I don’t blame you. You’ve got two weeks left before PDA Day! If you don’t have a partner, go find one! If you do have a partner, it’s time to practice! And in the meantime, why not have a look at my book, Illicit Impulse? It’s an exciting look at what can happen when oxytocin – and consequences – are removed from the delicate dance of skin-to-skin contact.

**Alexa Day brings a touch of sexy to your everyday world on the first Wednesday of every month. When she's not researching her monthly column, she's working on the follow-up to her first novel, ILLICIT IMPULSE, a Night Owl Reviews Top Pick which is now available wherever e-books are sold. In the meantime, you can catch up to her on Facebook, Twitter, or on her blog, although lately she only seems able to manage one of those three venues at a time.

Nights in Leopard-Print Satin: Why You Should Have Satin Sheets

I had my hair done a couple of weeks ago, and to protect the style, I was forbidden to put it up at night the way I ordinarily would. A friend of mine asked how I was working around the restriction. I told her that I was using a satin pillowcase.

Her response suggested that maybe not everyone has a satin pillowcase. I don’t remember exactly what she said, but I was glad I hadn’t mentioned that the pillowcase was part of a satin sheet set. In fact, I used to have two satin sheet sets, but then I got a bigger bed and had to get rid of them.

Now I’ve just got the leopard-print set.

Okay, okay. I know what this sounds like. And I promise, I don’t live in the center of the Bob Guccione School of Interior Design. This really does look like a normal home, at least in the receiving areas to which invited guests are generally exposed. If you didn’t know it, you’d never guess that an erotica writer lives here.

So my suggestion, of course, is going to be that you should also have a set of satin sheets. Because seriously, why shouldn’t you?

They’re surprisingly inexpensive. You can get them at Wal-Mart and Overstock.com. You can even get them from Sears. Not that there’s anything wrong with Sears. It’s just that one does not expect to obtain satin sheets and power tools (like the hardware kind, silly) at the same place.

Don’t be put off by the leopard print, although those are pretty easy to find. You can score satin sheets in the same solid colors as the regular cotton kind. They’re also available in zebra print. Hmm.

But your question, I think, was about why you should have them. Beyond my standard response – why not? – I can offer you a couple of good reasons.

They are very cool to the touch in the summertime. After a whole day under the window unit at my place, the satin sheet set is a wonderful place to land.

There’s no better place for such an indulgence than the bedroom. They’re a sensual secret just for you. Having them tucked away inside your bedroom is a little bit like wearing the special occasion lingerie on a regular workday – because every day should be a special occasion.

They launder well. I think they’re easier to maintain than cotton. If you act fast, that spilled drop of wine won’t seep in. They dry with lightning speed in the regular dryer.

They’re almost friction free. That’s right. You’re going to slide on satin sheets like nobody’s business. It’s fun. Try it, and you’ll see.

At the very least, the satin pillowcase is good for your hair. I think you should go all the way and get the whole set. In for a penny, in for a leopard-print pound.

I’m celebrating my very first release day today! ILLICIT IMPULSE is available from Ellora’s Cave right now, as I write this. It's the story of a hot scientist, his best friend, her boy toy, and a very sexy experimental drug. Here's a little peek at where the trouble starts:

Grace met John's gaze. “Tell me what you need me to do.”

His skin heated again. What was wrong with him?

“I need you…to take the pills…”

She lifted a fine eyebrow. “And?”

“And then have sex…”

She grinned then, her teeth very white against the burgundy of her lipstick. “With Tal. Right?”

He shrugged. That was, of course, who he’d had in mind. But what he needed already defied the fundamental tenets of scientific research. He definitely wasn’t going to go further out of bounds by telling her who to have sex with.

Grace chuckled, a throaty sound that might have been genuine amusement or something a bit less pleasant. “John, I hope you’re not thinking I’ll take these and then my eyes will be opened and I’ll see Tal doesn’t want to be in a relationship.” She put the pills back on the table next to her glass. “I mean, I know you have some kind of issue with him.”

“Issue” didn’t begin to cover it. Tal only saw her at his place, and only at night. After two years, she’d never mentioned meeting his family or going away for the weekend or celebrating an anniversary. Never mentioned flowers or Christmas gifts. So far as John knew, Tal never even took her to dinner. As happy as Grace said she was, John knew she deserved more than what she had.

“Grace, I’m not trying to pull anything. I need someone who’s not in a relationship. I need someone who’s willing to tell me everything. I even need Tal.” He hated the way that felt in his mouth. “Look, I don’t want you to get hurt. That’s no secret. And if these pills make you see things a little differently, then so much the better. But I really just need your help.”

“Good. Because I know Tal doesn’t want a girlfriend. So we’re all on the same page.”

John nodded, lifting both hands in surrender. “Right. I get it.”

“Okay.” Grace pursed her full lips. “If I do this, what would happen after the sex?”

John swallowed, hoping she didn’t sense the sudden rush of discomfort that seemed so painfully obvious to him. “Then you report back.” He cleared his throat. “To me.”

A mischievous giggle bubbled out of her. “You want me to have sex with Tal and then come back and tell you about it.” Coming from her mouth, the idea sounded ridiculous. “I presume you would need this to happen more than once.”

“Well…there are eight pills in a pack.”

Grace picked up the blister pack again and stared at it in silence. As John scrambled to scrape up the last of his persuasive powers, she said, “Deal.”

The tension that had been crushing him released its grip. She’d do it. “Oh, Grace. I owe you big time.”

She tucked the pills into her purse and laughed. “I have a feeling the pleasure’s going to be all mine. Just don’t be too disappointed if nothing changes between me and Tal,” she said. “And don’t be too shocked when you hear about what we do together.”

**On the first Wednesday of the month, Alexa Day brings a little sexy to your everyday world! Pop by her blog at http://alexaday.net, follow her on Twitter, or catch up to her on Facebook. She'd love to see you!

Open Letter to Boyfriends and Husbands Who Believe Valentine's Day Is Unnecessary

Gentlemen:

As I write this, about one week separates us from Valentine’s Day. I don’t think any other holiday inspires such a wide range of emotional responses. By now, I suspect most of us have made our plans for the holiday, to go out or stay in, to be alone or with friends or with that one special person.

But some of you have made it a point not to have plans. You say you don’t have to do anything because you love your significant others every day, 365 days a year. Valentine’s Day is just a greeting card holiday, you say.

Well, that’s an excuse. I’m sorry. I have to call you on that.

Maybe this is a greeting card holiday. But you know what? So is your birthday.

I bet your honey did something for your birthday. I don’t think she bragged about how it wasn’t necessary to do anything because you wake up breathing 365 days a year. She didn’t smugly assert that she acknowledges your continued existence every day and have no reason to treat your birthday any differently.

In fact, I bet people who are not as close to you, like your coworkers, did something for your birthday. I imagine a lot of people went to a little trouble to acknowledge your own personal greeting card holiday because you matter to them in some small way.

But you want to take your relationship with your sweetheart for granted. After all, you’re in the relationship now. She’s not going anywhere, right?

To get to this 365-day-a-year, don’t-have-to-celebrate relationship, your sweetheart’s been through a lot. She is probably never going to say this to you, but I think you have to hear it. At some point before you decided you didn’t have to acknowledge your relationship on the one special day set aside for it, your sweetheart did at least one, and probably more than one, of the following things.

1.       Considered quitting the whole dating process out of sheer frustration and exhaustion.

2.       Smiled when everything in her wanted to cry.

3.       Was told she should change some part of herself – maybe a part you love all year but refuse to celebrate today – so that she could be in a relationship.

4.       Wore something ridiculous, painful, or both.

5.       Blamed herself for someone else’s shoddy behavior.

6.       Let go of something she wanted very much.

7.       Had her boundaries violated.

8.       Stayed with someone worse than you because she doubted you were coming along.

9.       Chose to live with the certainty that she’d always be alone.

10.   Accepted something about you that really, really annoys her.

But then you came along. She chose you. She finds so much pleasure in every day with you that she may not even remember how many of those ten things she did. Being with you is a gamechanger.

And to acknowledge this, you want to do nothing.

Well, that’s not good enough.

I’m not saying you have to engage in any great spectacle. Use one of the greeting cards you sneer at and write a note. Read to each other. Sit at the bar – no reservations required – and share a dessert.

But do something.

This isn’t just another day. Your sweetheart’s not just some girl. And you should celebrate that because you love her 365 days a year.

Get to planning.

All the best,

Alexa

**Alexa Day wants to bring a little sexy into your everyday world. Her column appears here on the first Wednesday of the month. She blogs on her own website every Thursday, and her first novel, Illicit Impulse, is available March 1 from Ellora’s Cave.

You, Too, Could Live Like an Erotica Writer

Just recently, I sold my first book, ILLICIT IMPULSE, to Ellora's Cave. My friends took me out to celebrate last weekend, and over drinks and dinner (in that order), I came to realize that they apparently think I lead some sort of glamorous life. Not like a celebrity – my friends have all seen what I drive – but I see the way their eyes light up when I mention research, and I hate to disappoint them by saying that I was reading about neurochemistry. There's no little gaggle of men following me around. I keep a hangover remedy in my refrigerator. I clean the litterboxes every morning. My life's pretty average, I thought.

Having said that, though, I did have this argument with myself between sips of champagne. That actually is kind of glamorous.

But we can all be glamorous like that. We just have to ask ourselves one question. We have to start doing it right now, while we are surrounded by people who are dedicating themselves to living more monastic lives this year.

We have to ask ourselves, "Why not?"

Let's take the champagne, for instance. I'm lucky to have such awesome friends to take me places where the champagne flows freely. Champagne is out there every day, though. It's not just for New Year's Eve or Sunday morning mimosas. Couldn't we be exchanging toasts on Thursday night?

Why not?

And what about dessert? I savor every bite of every dessert as if it's the last thing I'm ever going to taste. I've also been known to take myself out to restaurants just for dessert. That's not an everyday thing, but I do love taking up position at the bar for a cup of coffee and a warm slice of apple pie. It keeps my senses sharp, which is important for an erotica writer, but for the most part, it's just an indulgence.

Why not?

I should mention the research.

I almost hate to demystify what erotica research is for me, especially so soon after Santa Claus. But the ugly truth is that my research almost never requires physical contact with another human being. I mentioned the neuroscience earlier; I had to learn about oxytocin and pharmaceutical development to write ILLICIT IMPULSE. I thought it was fascinating, but it's not terribly glamorous. For the next book, research was reading the Safety Rules and Regulations sign at the batting cage to see whether it specifically prohibits having two people in there at once. Not fancy stuff.

Then there was the Discovery Flight.

I'm planning another story in which the hero and heroine were on a single-engine plane. At the time, I had never been on a single-engine plane, and it was important enough to the story that I needed to know what the experience was like. So I reached out to a flight school and explained my situation, hoping to see how big the plane was, how close my hero and heroine would be to each other, what they would be able to take with them. The flight instructor offered me a Discovery Flight. For a very reasonable fee, he said, I could go up in the plane with him. Then I'd really know what it was like.

Why not?

(I could write for hours about what the Discovery Flight is like, but you don't have that sort of time, so I'll leave you with a quote from the flight instructor. "Go ahead and take off. Try to keep it in the middle of the runway.")

Maybe this is glamorous. Champagne toasts, indulgent desserts, exciting research – it is a good life. But it's not reserved for erotica writers. Celebrate something (like a Wednesday) with champagne. Take yourself out for a luxuriant restaurant dessert because you like the way it tastes. Learn something outside your comfort zone. Now's the time – most people are going to be waiting in line for the machines at the gym.

Go for it. Why not?

**Alexa Day is hard at work on her second book, the follow-up to ILLICIT IMPULSE, but she's got space in her schedule for the occasional random dessert. You can catch her right here on the first Wednesday of the month (or the year!) for ways to make every day a little sexier. She also blogs every Thursday on her website, www.alexaday.net.