Friday, July 26, 2013

Self-sabotage: Fear of Failure?

Like many, I’m a fan of reality television, be it the Real Housewives franchise or anything on WE TV, and one thing I've noticed is that no matter the level of sheer fame, many seem to be killing their chances of success by engaging in self-sabotage. So grab your cup of Lavender Tea and let's reflect.
Take a moment today for self- reflection

According to Psychology Today, “Behavior is said to be self-sabotaging when it creates problems and interferes with long-standing goals.

There are many reasons that self-sabotage happen, including the fear of failure. Coming from a theological background, my times in undergrad and later in graduate school assisted me in understanding the range of human emotions, interactions and the human psyche. I am far from being a psychologist, but there is one thing I've learned a lot about – the power of fear.

I can’t recall who said it best, but fear is really, “False Evil Appearing Real”.  It is a perceived truth based on no logical evidence, but only on emotional conclusions. It is the lofty idea of failure with no understanding of success. It is misinterpreting the signals and signs and believing that one is not capable of more, and that one is not worthy of more. Fear is the reflection of self-doubt and the lack of self-confidence.

 It is the belief that one ultimately will not achieve the goal as set, and therefore, why should one continue to strive for it. It is the pathway filled often with self-ridicule and a lack of understanding of self-worth, where internally and maybe subconsciously, one believes that success is not an available option.

Today, take the time to look at your situation and see if you are standing in the way of your greatest success. Look in the mirror and say, “I can achieve greatness. I am worthy of greatness. I am able to make a difference.”

Live strong, love passionately, be kind to one another and get out of your way. It could be that your greatest moment is just around the corner!

Are you guilty of self-sabotage? What do you do to defeat self-destructive thinking and behavior?

For further reading: Great information on self-sabotaging behavior can be found at Psychology Today’s website, and specifically the article titled, “Self-Sabotage: The Enemy Within” 

Tina Glasneck walks the line. She enjoys creating murderous tales and can be often found sipping a cup of lavender tea. Tina is currently working on the follow-up novel to THOU SHALL NOT, and is excited to see where the road of authorship takes her.

To connect with Tina, find her Facebook, and tell her how much you enjoy drinking a cup of lavender too.


  1. Hi, Tina! Reality TV? Hah! My heroine's aunt in ACES DOWN explains her reasoning for watching reality TV this way - " makes my life seem so much more sane." Based on my observations of these shows, it wouldn't take much. Self-doubt? Oh, we go way back. Granted I try to keep 'er back there, but she sneaks up every once in a while. Thanks for reminding me be more vigilant.

  2. Great article, Tina! Self-sabotage... ahhh, my old nemesis. :) Barely kept him at bay today. Tomorrow, we do battle again.

  3. Perfect timing, Tina! Self-sabotage and I are old frenemies!!

    Reality TV. There are levels. I don't believe you can compare shows like Top Chef and Project Runway and So You Think You Can Dance with Real Housewives and Bad Girls Club, etc. For people who go on the latter, I think something is mentally off with them in the first place.

  4. i used to be hooked on the reality show Fear Factor. That show was a study in self-sabotage. It was so easy to see how self-doubt impacted performance. I think we all develop self-defeating behaviors and it takes an awful lot of energy to stay on top of them.

  5. Great post, Tina...lots to think about.