Friday, February 8, 2013

Be Your Valentine

The countdown is on until the 14th. The stress for Valentine’s Day is going to be worth it though, right? A dozen red flowers waiting and lovely rose petals strewn across the floor, leading the way to where passion awaits; white candles flickering and alight, shining the way to an inviting bedroom. It’ll be a night with Robin Thicke crooning; a chance to sip on a little bubbly and you’ll finally get to wear  that new sexy lingerie you bought just for the occasion. You’re in the mood to coo; to be bitten, be turned on and out. You’ll celebrate the day of love with all the pent of passion you’ve had since the new year began.
Then reality hits!
The bubble is busted and instead of a night where your personal Alexander Skarsgard shows up to give you a skarsgasm, you scream in utter frustration. Instead of the holiday you’ve desired, you’ve been given nothing more than a kiss on a cheek. New lingerie is replaced with Walmart white cotton and the only music you hear is accompanied by a buy one get one free sub offer.
Yes, now that you’re a mother, your holiday has changed.
But does it have to be that way? Toys, belts, whips, chains and a little sexual freedom have never hurt anyone and with the thrust of erotica into the mainstream market, it’s time to leave the shadows of what’s expected and understand your own sexuality, and the pleasure you do desire. It’s time for your own sex therapy, where you are the master and your partner is there to learn what you want and how you want it.
What would you do if your partner suddenly whispered in your ear, “We can do whatever you’d like”? Would you even know what that is or would you be scared of your own desire?
Hollywood wants to tell you what passion is; but what are you and your desire unleashed? You’ve already birthed out a kid or maybe two, and your vagina has already been seen by the professionals and your partner multiple times, but now it’s time to up the ante with these wonderful valentine day suggestions!
1.       Bite me –Let’s play a game; I’ll be your victim and you can be my vampire.
Vampires exude sexual energy and stamina  (if you need encouragement, just check out True Blood –as I swoon again regarding my crush). But what makes them so sexy is the confidence. There is nothing that can happen that will affect them and their pleasure. They know what they want (usually a little blood), and their satisfaction is the goal. Pull out that Gothic corset, handcuffs and a little bit of whip cream and get busy!
Tools needed: confidence, confidence and more confidence.
2.       Be a Tease
There is something exciting about naked flesh being slowly revealed. Maybe it’s the difference in texture, softness of touch versus that of the material. Slowly revel in the feel of your partner’s hot gaze on your body, as you slowly move your hips to the music of your choice. Make the foreplay last until you both are panting for release. Only then have you captured your desire and taken it to the next level. Tools needed: feathers; pole, music and rhythm.
3.       Be Selfish
Whoever came up with the idea of thinking and making sure that their partner is satisfied and has not considered their own satisfaction has forgotten the one rule of great sexuality – release. Make your partner WORK for it! If he isn’t doing it right, then tell him how. It’s your body and you have a right to be honest in your pleasure (or lack thereof).  Tools: honesty, trust
4.       Change of Scenery
If it’s gotten stale, maybe it’s because the one room you’re having coitus in is the one that it’s expected in. Instead, take it out of the bedroom and christen the different parts of your house; be creative, inventive, and you just might discover what that new shower head is all about, or the greatness of the spin cycle on the washer. Your pleasure is only limited by your imagination.
Tools needed: imagination, blanket, pillows and flexibility
5.       Get Inspired
Tonight is the night for your fantasies to come true. What have you been desiring or itching to try, but afraid to do so? There are many couple instructional videos to introduce couples to the variety of sexual positions, toys, tastes and sounds available online and at exclusive clubs.  Maybe even a new erotic novel will give you a hint of where you need your physical relationship to go, or maybe just a simple change of position is needed to heat up your loving. Find the tools you need to create the pleasure palace you do desire.
Tools: internet, books, adult store, curiosity

If you want to have a good time regardless if it’s in the back of your car, or on the dining room table, the most important thing is to be honest in what you want. Remember, it is your body to be loved and treasured as YOU wish it to be. Make your demands known, and allow your fantasies to come true on the fourteenth. You never know what it might change for the fifteenth and every day thereafter.

What suggestions would you add?

About Tina: I am the author of THOU SHALL NOT. I love creating three dimensional characters and am always looking for new people to kill…in my stories.
Check out my author's  blog at and my book is available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble. You can also connect with me on Facebook and on Twitter.


  1. Yeah, I have a feeling there wouldn't be too many husbands/significant others who'd complain about that trip to the store! You're right though. You have to keep things lively!

    1. Leah, There is freedom in self-discovery and knowing what we want. Imagine if we all honestly communicated with our spouse (significant others); there would be more than a 50 Shades revolution! We'd finally remove the taboo associated with sexuality! :)

  2. Whew! *fan fluttering* Good stuff, Tina! Being open and honest, being creative and fun, you're absolutely spot on. Indeed, let the games begin.

    1. Denise, I truly believe that we are only limited by our imaginations. And being a writer, there really shouldn't be too many limits. :)

  3. Loved this blog. I've been married to one guy for over forty years and we have been through some dry spells, due to illness or lack of getting along. One thing I've found that will ususally stir things up is taking a day off. Really taking a day off, lifts my libido like nothing else, so I'll add that to your mix of advice Tina.

    1. Thanks Lenette! Taking a day off to enjoy the "harder" side of life seems to be some great advice! :)